SO VERY BLESSED!!

Today, I received a small package in the mail. I did not recognize the return address or name. I opened the package to discover two envelopes inside. One contained a small wrapped gift along with a couple photos and the other a typed letter. I was still unsure who would be sending me something, I hadn't placed any orders lately and was just confused. The letter stated that I did not know the person, but she wanted to share her story with me. I cried as I read this woman's journey, so very similar to mine in some areas. I was so touched that she reached out to tell me her story. 

She didn't go to college until she was in her 40's, and it was a tough road with bumps along the way. She was pursuing a dream to become a nurse! Starting college later in life was very difficult, especially if you have to work while doing this. You worry about so many things that a young student doesn't typically worry about (i.e. finances, upkeep of your home, etc). Sometimes things don't go as planned and it takes a little longer to reach that finish line.

My new friend, Mary, shared her journey with me. She shared a beautiful photo of when she graduated nursing school (along with a current one of her and her hubby). But in addition to this beautiful letter, Mary sent a gift to me. It is a charm. This charm was given to her when she graduated nursing school in 1986. I think this is the most generous thing I have ever experienced and am still crying as I write this post.

Mary, I will be wearing this proudly!!!! I will also share your amazing story!

As it turns out, Mary's son is a friend of mine! We met Peter and his wife, Jen on a Disney Cruise to Canada, the summer before I was to start clinical (I was starting the following January). Peter & Jen have remained friends via Facebook and even came out to cheer me on when I walked in the Boston 3-Day for the Cure. Peter had shared my story with his mom, having lived through her attaining her dream and he has supported me with encouraging words or messages.

I am truly blessed to have such amazing friends!!! 

TOOK THE NCLEX EXAM and PASSED!!!!

Well, yesterday morning I took the NCLEX! I was waiting, very impatiently, for notification of whether I passed or not. I relied on God to get me through the exam. Sunday in church one of the hymns that we sang was "All Your Anxiety" and giving it to God, leaving it at the mercy seat. That song had to have been just for ME, right, cause I'm sure no one else is going through anxiety right now (right?), haha!

So, on Sunday, I did just what our Kaplan instructor said, NOTHING related to the NCLEX. No studying, no cramming, use the day to relax. I went to church, I got my nails done, I sat and watched the Super Bowl (commercials) and had snacks with Dale during the evening. It was a relatively relaxing day.

Monday morning, I woke and prayed for peace, for wisdom, to relax and take my time. I arrived at Dunkin Donuts at 7am to have coffee with a classmate who was testing this morning also. I told very few people I was testing this specific day, as I am my worst enemy. My test anxiety gets me so often and the stress of others asking if I heard anything, if I passed, if I tested, was to much to deal with, so I trusted this date with very few. Please do not be offended if you were not one of those very few who knew I was testing this morning. (I have family who didn't know).

We arrived at the testing center about 20-25 minutes before the test was to 'start'. The process of getting into the testing room is top security. You have to read a statement, provide your photo id (which name must match the name taking the exam, exactly; and the photo must look like you, so no outdated passport photos); have both palms scanned (palm vein scan) and your photo taken. You then must scan to enter the testing room and to exit it at any time (break, bathroom or completion of exam).

I was escorted to the specific computer I was to use for this exam. The TA signed me in and I was seated in walled off section with just my computer, my id, my key to the locker where I stored my snack and jacket and the dry erase board that we could use to write out things if necessary (often for calculation problems). During Kaplan our instructor told us to write our name and RN at the top of that page. I did just that! That was why I was there and needed to keep the focus.

I had done so many practice tests and knew that I had to take a break at approximately 30 questions in.  This seemed so quickly after I had started but I stuck with what I knew worked for me and I took a break. I came back and continued on with my exam. I never heard my friend leave (heard the person cleaning off the workstation). After I finished 75 questions my exam shut off!!!!! Oh my gosh, that was the scariest feeling. I knew the minimum number of questions you can get is 75, but the most is 265 and you are taught to be prepared to sit for the entire six hours. I did not think it was possible to have passed that quickly.

When I got home, I did what we were told did not work, I attempted to register to take the NCLEX again. The screen that popped up said I could not register for the exam. This is 'supposed' to mean you passed! I was excited but afraid that the trick was no longer valid and that I had not passed. I was crazy waiting, knowing I would not find out for at least 24 hours, but, I just wanted to know!!!!

This morning when I woke, I checked my email right away, hoping to see something, but no, nothing yet, ugh!!!! I got up and showered and hoped that I'd know before I head into work later today (no access to email at work). Just a short time later, I had several text messages from a couple friends (a group message) and one of those had taken the exam yesterday also. She said "OUR LICENSES ARE ONLINE"!!!!! Oh my gosh, I DID IT! I was really an RN!!!

I have to truly thank those who have helped me throughout this journey. The next step is to get that resume updated and find a 'real' job! I'll be sure to update on that process also.